I Hate Misery
by Jonathan Cartoons Inc
Summary: Arlene tries to put Garfield on a diet, like Jon does, but Garfield found a way to solve the problem, by killing her with poisoned vegetables. This FanFic contains killing, dying, and poison feeding, and it's rated M.


**I Hate Misery**

{Garfield, Odie, Jon, Nermal, Arlene, Liz, and Squeak are all dancing around in the house. Odie spins Garfield around, making him scream, head out, and land on a tree, causing snow to fall on him.}

Liz Wilson: Oh no! We're late for the dancing contest!

Jon Arbuckle: Don't worry, Liz. Nermal Cat's in charge. We can just ignore him, and dance for no reason.

Squeak: I love dancing for no reason!

{Odie, Jon, Arlene, Liz, and Squeak all walk out on a winter day. Day turns to night, and now it's all black. Fade to Garfield with his hands tied up, as he's stuck with Arlene in his house.}

Arlene: Garfield, you're awake!

Garfield: Uh, Arlene, why am I tied up?

Arlene: Because you're going to go on a diet that I always wanted!

Garfield: A diet? I hate diets as much as I hate Mondays!

Arlene: Jon always had you go on diets. He made you eat healthy vegetables.

{Arlene runs away.}

Garfield: Such veggies are bad, like cucumbers.

{cut to Lyman Johnson with his dog, Odie}

Lyman: Odie, have you seen Garfield? He was supposed to have a dance party. {Odie nods his head no.} Can you help me find him? {Then Odie nods yes, and puts on his Batman costume. The Batman theme song plays as Odie walks around with his dingle ball, which is Odie's sidekick. Odie punches a thief, and a "PUNCH!" appears, then he kicks the villain with his left foot, making a "KICK" appear. And finally, he smacks the pirate with a bone, making a "BONE!" sound appear. Odie and his sidekicks all shake hands. The Batman logo appears, but in Odie style. Odie looks around. Lyman sighs. Now cut to Garfield and Arlene, where Arlene is feeding Garfield popcorn soup.}

Arlene: I made popcorn soup! I know how much you love eating popcorn when it's baked.

Garfield: So basically you made me a bowl of yellow glue?

{The doorbell rings, Arlene gets the door, leaving Garfield stuck in yellow glue, calling out for help.}

Garfield: HELP!

{Arlene sees Odie in a Batman costume.}

Arlene: Michael Jackson? {Odie nods no.} Hey, you're that yellow beagle who's been kicked off the table!

{Odie points to that tree right there, then he points at those footprints, and now, Arlene.}

Arlene: I should have known you'd figure that out. You're always so Odie. Oh, hey...Odie! That's your name! It all makes sense now!

{Arlene and Odie laugh for a while, until she gets that hammer and whacks Odie with it multiple times, until Odie dies. Then Arlene carries Odie's body, closes the door, and throws it in the basement. Now back to Garfield writing letters.}

Garfield: Oh my god! Three of these crazy vegetables will kill me!

Arlene: I got some more veggies, Garfield!

Garfield: Arlene, stop feeding me veggies. I want lasagna.

Arlene: Alright. I almost forgot something. {Arlene gives Garfield a special treat.} Does this lasagna look special to you?

Garfield: Uh...I guess.

{Arlene whacks the lasagna with the stick, landing on Garfield's face, as Garfield screams. Garfield wakes up again with these vegetables still there. Garfield sighs as he sees Arlene.}

Garfield: Here's the veggies.

Arlene: Really? Can I eat them? {Arlene eats these vegetables, but then she realizes that it had poison on them. Garfield started going from bored to evil. Arlene tries to spit them out, but that wouldn't work. Arlene started to get sick. After that, she died.}

Garfield: The diet's over, Arlene.

{Jon Arbuckle comes in at his house.}

Jon: Garfield, thank goodness you're here! I looked everywhere for you!

Garfield: I was in your house, you dork!

Jon: Gee, I can't have any friends. That lady cat's a diet-hater.

Garfield: I never thought she hated diets. She never hated diets at all. Maybe she just took me out on a date.

{Arlene coughs a little, but Garfield took an arrow and stabbed Arlene with it.}

Garfield: By the way, Michael Jackson's dead.

 **THE END**


End file.
